{"id":78544,"date":"2024-06-04T15:47:06","date_gmt":"2024-06-04T08:47:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/?p=78544"},"modified":"2024-06-04T15:47:06","modified_gmt":"2024-06-04T08:47:06","slug":"i-mowed-the-lawn-today-and-after-doing-so","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/i-mowed-the-lawn-today-and-after-doing-so\/","title":{"rendered":"I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so"},"content":{"rendered":"

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so\n

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so\n

I sat down and had a cold beer.\n

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.\n

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,\n

and I said, “Nothing.”\n

The reason I said “nothing” instead of saying “just thinking” is because she then would have asked, “About what?”\n

At that moment, I would have needed to clarify that men ponder deeply on diverse subjects, sparking further inquiries.\n

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?\n

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?\n

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.\n

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn’t really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:\n

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.”\n

But you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”\n

I rest my case.\n

Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, “Nothing.” The\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":78547,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-78544","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/3.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78544"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78544\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/78547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}