{"id":70918,"date":"2024-03-21T08:47:52","date_gmt":"2024-03-21T01:47:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alternatech.net\/?p=70918"},"modified":"2024-03-21T17:12:37","modified_gmt":"2024-03-21T10:12:37","slug":"a-drunk-woman-walks-into-a-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/a-drunk-woman-walks-into-a-bar\/","title":{"rendered":"A drunk woman walks into a bar"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>She\u2019s very inebriated, so she stumbles to the bartender.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201fI will have a whiskey schlour!\u201d she slurs <strong>\u201fI can\u2019t serve you ma\u2019am, you\u2019ve had too much.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The barkeep informs her. Looking disgruntled, she walks out the front door.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>A few minutes later she walks in through the side entrance.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201fBarkeep, give me Gin and Ginger.\u201d she hiccups.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201fAs I told you before, I can\u2019t serve you, would you like me to get you a cab?\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The bartender says patiently. Looking quizzically at the bartender, she shakes his head and stumbles out.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>A few minutes later she walks in the front door again.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201fGive me Blue Motorcycle!\u201d she demands.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201fLook ma\u2019am&rdquo; the bartender says sternly, having lost his patience,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>&ldquo;if you do not let me call you a cab, I\u2019m going to have to call the police.&rdquo;\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>She peers at him with red, blurry eyes and mumbles,\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>&ldquo;How many friggin\u2019 bars do you work at?&rdquo;\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She\u2019s very inebriated, so she stumbles to the bartender. \u201fI will have a whiskey schlour!\u201d she slurs \u201fI can\u2019t serve you ma\u2019am, you\u2019ve had too much.\u201d The barkeep informs her. Looking disgruntled, she walks out the front door. A few minutes later she walks in through the side entrance. \u201fBarkeep, give me Gin and Ginger.\u201d\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":70919,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"He\u2019s very inebriated, so she stumbles to the bartender. \u201fI will have a whiskey schlour!\u201d she slurs \u201fI can\u2019t serve you ma\u2019am,...","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-70918","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/A-drunk-woman-walks-into-a-bar.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70918","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70918"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70918\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/70919"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70918"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70918"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70918"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></strong></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p></strong></strong></span></p></span></p>