{"id":70387,"date":"2024-03-14T09:59:46","date_gmt":"2024-03-14T02:59:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alternatech.net\/?p=70387"},"modified":"2024-03-20T12:03:34","modified_gmt":"2024-03-20T05:03:34","slug":"when-smith-family-decided-to-use-proxy-father-to-have-a-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/when-smith-family-decided-to-use-proxy-father-to-have-a-baby\/","title":{"rendered":"When Smith Family decided to use Proxy Father to have a Baby"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>doorbell, hoping to make a sale. <strong>\u201cGood morning madam. You don\u2019t know me but I\u2019ve come to\u2026.\u201d \u201cOh, no need to explain. I\u2019ve been expecting you,\u201d Mrs. Smith cut in.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cReally..?\u201d the photographer asked.<strong> \u201cWell, good..! I\u2019ve made a specialty of babies.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cThat\u2019s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start..?\u201d asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cLeave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cBathtub, living room floor..? No wonder it didn\u2019t work for Harry and me.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cWell, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll be pleased with the results.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cI hope we can get this over with quickly,\u201d gasped Mrs. Smith.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cMadam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I\u2019d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you\u2019d be disappointed with that, I\u2019m sure.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cDon\u2019t I know!!\u201d Mrs. Smith exclaimed.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.<strong> \u201cThis was done on the top of a bus in downtown London.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cOh my God..!!\u201d Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cAnd these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.\u201d The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cShe was difficult ..?\u201d asked Mrs. Smith.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cYes, I\u2019m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cFour and five deep..?\u201d asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cYes\u201d, the photographer said.<strong> \u201cAnd for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. <strong>\u201cYou mean they actually chewed on your, eh\u2026\u2026equipment?\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cThat\u2019s right. Well madam, if you\u2019re ready, I\u2019ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cTripod..??\u201d, Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cOh Good God Yes..! I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>It\u2019s much too big for me to hold while I\u2019m getting ready for action.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Madam..? Madam..? Good Lord, she\u2019s fucking fainted..!\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>doorbell, hoping to make a sale. \u201cGood morning madam. You don\u2019t know me but I\u2019ve come to\u2026.\u201d \u201cOh, no need to explain. I\u2019ve been expecting you,\u201d Mrs. Smith cut in. \u201cReally..?\u201d the photographer asked. \u201cWell, good..! I\u2019ve made a specialty of babies.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":70389,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"doorbell, hoping to make a sale. \u201cGood morning madam. You don\u2019t know me but I\u2019ve come to\u2026.\u201d \u201cOh, no need to explain...","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-70387","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/When-Smith-Family-decided-to-use-Proxy-Father-to-have-a-Baby.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70387"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70387\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/70389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writehorizon.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></span></p></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></span></p></strong></strong></span></p></strong></span></p>